When I started saying the Ho’oponopono prayer, I felt so much resistance towards it, particularly surrounding the statement, “I am sorry”. It wasn’t that I had an issue apologizing and taking ownership for anything that I did. Ownership is important for growth. But I did not want to say “I am sorry” for what I believed to be “other people’s stuff”. However, the more I began to say the prayer, I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry, I began to see the way something in my own consciousness had led to the confusion and suffering I had experienced in my own life.
I found myself, repeatedly saying sorry to myself and asking myself for forgiveness, saying thank you, and then feeling a love within myself and around myself come forth. Bit by bit I saw more that I wanted to take ownership of and forgive myself for that I had not. Bit by bit I began to feel liberated from burdens I was not even aware I was carrying. I began to feel lighter, freer. I said sorry for not honoring myself, the fruits of that demonstrated through allowing others to disregard and dishonor me, my time, and my boundaries. I said sorry for saying yes when I wanted to say no, the byproduct of this non-alignment being a resentful and regretful yes when I could have had a self-honoring and authentic no. I said sorry for not listening to my own inner voice, my heart, which manifested in the feeling of betrayal, disloyalty, and abandonment in familial relationships. I took ownership of my headaches, the result of a spiritual blockage around my own fear of abuse of my beauty and spiritual gifts.
When I began this process, I had resistance around taking ownership of what I believed to be “other people’s stuff.” Owning my stuff was easy. Owning my reactions was easy. Now I know that I am responsible for everything. This, for me, is a chilling and liberating experience. It means that I have the power to choose, at any moment, to change what shows up in my life and how I show up in my life. In addition, it allows me to truly see who and how I am. Knowing that I am responsible for everything allows me to look at what shows up in my life as a mirror of my own consciousness. This means that my thoughts, my feelings, my words, my beliefs, are all creating and manifesting something in my life whether I was aware of it or not. Knowing that I am responsible for everything allows me see exactly what is in me that is creating the energy to manifest my circumstances, and if I choose, to create something else.