Yesterday, after at least a week of hearing from my inner knowing that I should contact my ex (but to release expectations), I decided to. After a series of almost rapid fire texts back and forth, I worked up the courage to try something that I knew wasn’t going to work. I asked him to come with me to a movie. He said no, that he wouldn’t feel comfortable. Despite the conversation that we did have, it was the things that we didn’t talk about that were the most telling. We didn’t talk about what happened, about what his thoughts were, about what was going through his head then or now. We didn’t talk about “us” or the relationship. Everything stayed light and on the surface and I guess I’m okay with it being that way. All my intuition says is that he’s not gone but he’s not coming back.
Ideally, he would text me today and ask me how I’m doing and how life is going and try to make conversation. But I guess if he’s so determined to get over me and to move on, then that isn’t going to happen. What’s weird about it all is that it doesn’t feel “over” and my intuition says it’s because he’s not gone. At any rate, I’m going to have to go on from this at some point because brooding is not going to help this situation. My only wish was that I had contacted him on some day other than Saturday. Having to “go on” on a Sunday is the worst! Everything moves so slow. Sunday is society’s allotted time to reflect. Moving on is so hard to do on a reflective day as Sunday.