For the last few years, I’ve been going through this period where I haven’t wanted to spend time with anybody. I’ve been very solitary, more so than I’ve been in the years prior. Lately, it’s just this need to clean house, to give things away, to just…be. I’ve apologized for turning down invitations to hang out. I hope I didn’t come off as rude. The only person I’ve wanted to hang out with in the past was my ex but I think that’s because we had a special connection of some sort. Now that he’s gone (and now that I’ve accepted that he’s gone) I just want to spend my days focusing on personal development.
I feel like there’s nothing “back there” for me anymore. All I want is to focus on right now, on where I am and where I want to go and I just keep wanting to clean house, to give things away, to start anew. I’m sure many people will say that this is part of the break up process. Maybe it is. Reason it how you want. I just…need to get out of who I’ve been.