Happy New Year!

I’m a little late but happy New Year’s! I wanted to write yesterday…no I didn’t. I didn’t want to write yesterday. I was so focused on watching “The Walking Dead” and researching travel nursing that I completely forgot to blog. I think I’m just excited to start a new journey in my life. That being said, I didn’t make any New Year resolutions.

This New Year’s day didn’t feel all that special to me. And yet in a way it was. I actually did quite a few things differently this time around. Usually for New Year’s Day, I wake up early and reflect on my year prior. Then I write out my resolutions for the upcoming year, stay up, spend time with family, and watch the ball drop in Time Square on television. But this year? This year I woke up at 10am after staying up late the night before watching The Walking Dead. I then proceeded to continue watching this “Walker” marathon well into 10pm and then by 11pm I was in bed, dreaming about my life as a survivor of a post apocalyptic world. I kept waking up every 2 hours after the question of, “Why am I still trying to survive in a world like this again?” entered my head.

I think all of this made my New Year’s special. I appreciated how normal seeming it all was because that’s different for me. It was nice to not have to try and make the New Year’s special or different and to just have it be. I think allowing it all to go however it was going to go made it feel nice. I griped the entire night about having to go to work in the morning. And then I went to work and told them about how much I longed to have stayed at home. I told my manager about my intent to be a travel nurse as well as the fact that I wasn’t being paid for being Charge Nurse though I was suppose to. And then my coworker told me that I always seem so happy. I told her that I think this is my “baseline”. And then it occurred to me that what I’m experiencing is something deeper than this ever fleeting “happiness”. I’m joyful. And that made my day.

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