I started looking back at my old writings from high school and college and they made me laugh as well as think. When you aren’t sure of yourself, when you’re busy trying to compare your life to other’s lives, you forget all the beauty that exists within you.
My stories were very well written. And back then I exuded a lot of confidence and trust in myself. I didn’t have a lot of friends. And I didn’t care. Which is funny because I remember going through a stint in college where I felt I needed to be completely involved in all social activities or something was wrong with me. A good chunk of it had to do with my ex and the influence that he wielded over me. But that’s why we need to be careful who we allow into our lives.
For some years now, I tried to reduce my voice by stifling my inner power. I’d try to substitute my confident tone of speaking with a more unsure tone. Instead of saying, “The books are on the bookshelf” I’d say, “I think the books are on the bookshelf…” even though I knew exactly where they were. I made a habit of creating doubt in an attempt to avoid embarrassment in the event I was wrong or in the event I offended anyone.
Nowadays, I’ve removed a lot of the “I think…” and the doubting tones from my speaking and writing because I understand now that there is nothing wrong with being sure of oneself. I’ve grown weary of perfectionism.It’s not real. I don’t need to know everything or be right about everything, or good at everything in order to be sure of oneself. I’m growing, I’m evolving, and I’m going to be wrong sometimes but that’s okay. That’s part of life.