So the picture above is a reflection of the three main communication styles. I am passive. I wrote in my previous blog that I am in the Esteem phase of my development. This is why. It’s funny because I think I’ve known all along that I had self-esteem issues. But in college, I went through a “there is no self” phase while not really understanding what that meant in addition to experiencing hardships. Instead of beating myself into silence, I should’ve been seeking ways to empower myself, especially since I was in an environment that seemed to be working it’s damnest to leave me feeling defeated.
I’m now in a position where it’s important to speak up. Also, I’m not a little girl anymore. So it’s very important that I learn not only to advocate for myself at work and in public but to also communicate in a way that’s clear, concise, honest, and effective. If I’m not, I now feel that I’ve defeated the purpose of communication. For this reason, I’ve begun to do conduct research on assertive communication styles. I’ve read these before and many of these I already know but it never hurts to be reminded. It’s not enough to just be aware of this information, but rather it’s important now that I utilize it.
I’ve been paying attention to how I am in public settings. During my mid-point evaluation, I found myself slouching, crouching my shoulders, whispering, staring at the ground, sometimes avoiding eye contact, blushing. I also noticed myself tensing up and clenching the pen in my hand. I had the same kind of behavior during the rounds with the MDs and Charge nurse. This behavior communicates shyness, uncertainty, insecurity. Now contrast this with how I am when communicating with my family, I am relaxed. During this time, my expressions and my words align and I project my voice in a way that allows me to be heard and understood. This is effective communication. I’m still reading and researching looking for new tips and reminders on what assertiveness is and looks like because I think I would like help in this area. And my goal going forward is to implement these. Reducing my nervous laughter, and just working on speaking up and projecting my voice.